Being an Adoptive Parent


ANSWER: Complex question, simple answer: We wanted a family. Simpler answer: Randi, my wife, told me to. Simplest answer: My accountant said I needed the tax deductions. OK, the first simple answer is the real one.

— Dr. Ray Guarendi in Adoption: Choosing it, Living it, Loving it


Thinking about adoption stirs up questions, emotions and lots of “what ifs”. Whether you’re considering to adopt, aching to adopt, trying to get your spouse to agree to adopt, or you are the spouse that needs answers to your questions, just remember: fear is natural, love is supernatural.

Here is the truth: according to the most recent report by the U.S. Dept. of Health (Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System, No.22, 2014), there are 415, 129 children are in foster care.  That’s 415,129 souls who have been abandoned, neglected, or abused by their parents or guardians. And those are the children we know about, let alone the children who haven’t been fortunate enough to have their abuse recognized. That’s 415,129 souls who need to be shown God’s love: are you capable of showing God’s love to a child who has no home?

As a Catholic or Christian, God has placed an obligation specifically on us to be responsible for our brothers and sisters. We cannot answer God the way Cain did, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Can we sincerely and responsibly ask God for forgiveness if we know we are not doing our share to help the poor? Naturally, tithing generously may solve the dilemma of a person feeding the poor, but remember: tithing comes in different forms and those forms are detected by a Good Steward. If you have the ability to give a child a home with a mother and father and have the willingness to teach this child and share the good with the bad, then you may already have the physical blessings to provide for a child, because we certainly know you already have the spiritual capability: “… you are not lacking in any spiritual gift as you wait for the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1Cor1:7) If you do not have these blessings, then of course, adoption may not be the gift God is calling you to give to your brothers and sisters.



Do know that adopting a child can be financially “free” if you adopt through the government. (Using an agency is not always free.)



  • Kinship Navigator Program, Catholic Family Center – 30N Clinton Avenue Rochester, NY 14604. 1 (877) 454-6463 or (585) 232-1840, ext. 4028. The NYS Kinship Navigator is an information, referral and advocacy program for kinship caregivers in New York State. A kinship caregiver is an individual that is caring for a child that is not biologically their own. In New York State, there are an estimated 179,000 caregivers, 131,000 of whom are grandparents. Many others are aunts and uncles.
  • For general information or support for adoption, visit Adoptive Families.
  • Watch a movie about adoption:
    • Little Boy Lost with Bing Crosby – this movie shows that being a parent is about being present for a child, not a child being present for the parent, and that the human heart is big enough to love a kid: any kid.



on August 13 | by

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